Don't say these golf clichés

Have your ears been damaged by listening to a worn-out golf cliché? I’m sure you have heard all the golf clichés before as they seem to be a part of golfing folklore. I find it near impossible to play a round of golf today without hearing one of these annoying catchphrases. The hardest thing I find is knowing what to say in reply. What do you say to something that really gets under your skin?

It depends on your personality and what sort of person you are. For me, I find the ‘code of silence’ works best.

Say very little or even nothing at all.

It usually stops them short in their tracks and gives them nothing to come back with.

Read below some of the worst golf clichés I’ve heard in over 20 years of golf.

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3 SECRET MOVES I WISH I WAS SHOWN WHEN I FIRST PLAYED GOLF

I Don’t go that far on holidays

This little pest always seems to come from an elderly golfer who hits the golf ball only 180 yards off the tee. It comes directly after I’ve bombed a drive down the middle of the fairway.

It’s usually followed by a little chuckle (by them) thinking they have lightened the mood of the foursome.

I have a very good open sense of humour but this one-liner misses the mark by a long way.

Drive for show and putt for dough

This old classic doesn’t get heard as much these days as it once did. It doesn’t mean it still doesn’t hold any real meaning it just doesn’t get said anymore. Putting will always have a huge role to play in golf and that will never change.

Putting is the difference between winning and losing on the major tours and this is probably how and why this golf cliché first originated.

Celebrity golfers such as Michael Jordan know this cliche all too well as he is regularly known to put up a few bills on the golf course, especially in Las Vegas casinos.

Granted, he is known for losing Millions, so we cannot attest to his putting skill.

That all being said, it’s tired and worn out much like my old high school yearbook … so give it a miss!

If you want to know what golf cliches to avoid so you don't sound like an idiot on the golf course you've come to the right place. Learn what golf cliches you need to never say and you'll enjoy each and every round of golf you play.

Never up, never in

This is another one for the award of ‘captain obvious’ clichés that gets commonly heard around golf courses. It gets said when a golfer leaves a putt short of the hole that appears to be right on line.

As if the frustration of the golfer that leaves it short is not enough they have to listen to this rubbish.

I would recommend an evil stare in the offender’s direction!

Does your husband play too?

I actually don’t mind this one because it’s usually only said between good friends having a round of golf. It gets said after a male golfer leaves a putt short of the hole.

Word of warning: don’t say this unless you know your playing partners really well or else you’ll come across as a complete moron.

I personally still stay away from this one just in case, because even the best of friends can turn nasty if they’re having a bad day on the golf course.

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That will bring rain

A high climbing golf shot off the tee may bring about this golf cliché. It’s more commonly heard from elderly golfers who know the weather like the back of their hands.

To my knowledge an object propelled high into the sky has never influenced the weather conditions and I doubt it ever will.

Despite this, some starved for attention golfers feel the need to share this annoying golf cliché.

You were aiming that way

It’s not so much as a golf cliché but more of an annoying ‘know it all’ phrase from a golfer that should be focusing on their own game. What really gets me annoyed is that most good golfers shape the golf ball either right to left or left to right.

To achieve this they have to aim and start the golf ball away from the intended target.

Occasionally, the golf ball will keep going along that line and not come back towards the target.

These morons don’t understand this and I wish would learn to keep their thoughts to themselves!

Get in the hole

This is more commonly heard on the US PGA Tour. It was made famous when players such as Tiger Woods and John Daly first came to prominence in the 1990s.

Spectators yell this out just moments after a player has hit their shot. Usually, it’s saved for par 3’s but for some unknown reason gets yelled out on a par 4 or 5.

I think the offenders are most likely either drunk or intoxicated to a certain degree.

It’s unnecessary and tarnishes a wonderful game and the vast majority of the huge crowds that pay good money to come and watch.